


The Persistence of Memory

by Cheree_Cargill



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 18:43:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12563776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheree_Cargill/pseuds/Cheree_Cargill
Summary: It has been years since T'Pring betrayed Spock in order to marry Stonn.  Now Stonn is dead and T'Pring decides that Spock was a better match after all.  Will he agree to renew their Bond, or does the betrayal that lives in his memories lead him to reject her in turn?





	The Persistence of Memory

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Cheree Cargill and is copyright (c) 2017 by Cheree Cargill. This story is Rated PG.

Spock stepped back from the mirror and gazed at his reflection. Hair smoothed, face shaven, long silver-grey robes draping precisely, his family sigil adorning the folds, he was as ready as he would ever be. And yet he did not feel ready. His heart thumped against his side, more rapidly than normal. His breath came faster and more shallowly than he was accustomed to. His hands shook slightly and he balled them into fists to stop the trembling. He felt nervous, afraid, eager, deliriously happy all at the same time, and he could not seem to regain the control of his emotions that he normally held.

Jim Kirk stepped into the reflection in the mirror and Spock felt his friend's hand slap against his shoulder. "Deep breath and let it out slow," the Captain said, smiling. "That's the ticket."

"I could give you a sedative," came Leonard McCoy's amused voice to one side of the mirror.

Spock turned to face his fellow officers. They were both in dress uniform, Kirk in gold and McCoy in blue. It felt odd that he was not in uniform as well, but this was a Vulcan ceremony and he was clad in the traditional attire that his role in it demanded. Against his bare skin beneath, the heavy drapery tantalized like a whispering touch. When the time came he would be more than ready.

The sensation almost caused a catch in his breath and, for a split second, he considered the doctor's jesting offer, but then replied as calmly as possible, "That will not be necessary, Dr. McCoy. It is not like the last time. There will be no challenge at this Joining."

"I hope not!" Kirk responded. "I don't relish nearly dying again."

He laughed, but that comment took all three men back to the vivid memory of Spock's first "wedding" in the arena of his home planet where Kirk had been forced to fight him to the death. McCoy had gambled with the Captain's life that time and had very nearly lost. A few more minutes and he would not have been able to revive Kirk's heart into once again beating. Or if Spock's slice across his midriff with the razor-sharp _lirpa_ had been deeper, it would have severed arteries and organs, leaving the human to bleed out onto the dark red sands.

This time was different. Spock was older and ready when the pull of _pon farr_ began to stir in him once more. He recognized the early symptoms and did not fight them. Nor was there any need, for his bride was ready to meet and join with him in a place that did not bring such terrible recollections.

It had been two years since Sarek had notified his son that former rival Stonn had been killed in a shuttle accident, widowing T'Pring at a young age. It wasn't long after that Sarek had again contacted Spock and let him know that T'Pring's parents had approached the ambassador with a tentative offer of another alliance between families. They had been appalled and ashamed at their daughter's actions, but still felt the desire for a connection with Sarek's wealthy, politically powerful family. Plus they had lost money, prestige and honor in that debacle and this time they would be present to assure that nothing went wrong.

Spock's first impulse was to refuse. He too had been shamed on many levels and, despite the illogic of it, a burning anger and hatred of his former bondmate festered deep inside him. He had never forgiven her for betraying him or himself for the near murder of his captain and best friend. It was not until he had purged himself at Gol as he attempted to reach _kohlinahr_ that he had finally set his soul at peace and accepted the _c'thia_ of T'Pring's choice.

T'Pring was older now, too, more mature and extremely humbled by the experiences that she had brought about. In truth, Stonn had severely disappointed her in his lack of ambition and she had never conceived children with him. She had not mourned when he had died, but instead felt herself free of a burden she had not anticipated. She turned her eyes once again on Spock and found herself drawn back to the older, more experienced man she had once spurned. He was no longer the boy she remembered but a Vulcan male fully in his prime, powerful, sure of himself, and exuding a sexual aura that she could no longer ignore. She was pleased when Spock at last agreed to renew negotiations for a Joining.

Thus, during the ensuing two years, as the _Enterprise_ explored their section of the galaxy, negotiations and meetings had begun again between Sarek and Solon, T'Pring's father, regarding the legalities of another match. Spock and T'Pring had spent hours in deep conversation via subspace. There had been much to say and learn, on both their parts, much hurt and much guilt to be worked through. The childhood Bond was still there, never having been broken, and Spock searched through his meditation until he found it and reestablished contact, making the telepathic connection with T'Pring's mind.

She had encouraged his thoughts to meld with hers. It was hard at first, not touching physically, but soon it eased into a uniform conduit, their minds and thoughts and emotions intertwining. It was easier now to communicate all their feelings and Spock found the woman he had lost. She was not the same, as he was not the same, and their more mature selves blended into one as they never had before. And so, when the sexual stirrings of _pon farr_ had begun to build between them, both knew it was time to reunite, this time in full bonding and marriage.

Bringing them back to the present, Spock drew a deep, cleansing breath and let his brows lift slightly. "I believe it is time," he said.

"I'll drink to that," McCoy replied with a grin.

"Indeed!" Kirk seconded.

Spock paused before turning toward the door. "And, my friends ... thank you for standing with me once again. I am honored."

"Then let's not keep the lady waiting," Kirk answered and they stepped out into the corridor.

* * *

The VIP quarters were new to this revamped version of the big starship, the USS _Enterprise-A_. Room had always seemed tight in the previous layout and that had been remedied as the ship had taken on more of a diplomatic role of first contact and ferrying ambassadorial passengers between planets. Today, the large sitting room had been opened up further by clearing it of furniture to serve as a gathering place for the marital ceremony, making room for the many guests and the reception later. The bedroom area had been curtained off, leaving it for the newly joined couple once all the guests had gone. On Vulcan, such an area was the norm to maintain the privacy of the Mating Time, even as attendants saw to needs of the couple during the days to follow.

Now, as the bridegroom and his companions entered the crowded room, the fifty or so people gathered there parted to let them pass. Sarek and Amanda stood on one side, along with Cdr. Montgomery Scott in tartans and kilt, Lt. Uhura, Dr. Christine Chapel, and numerous other _Enterprise_ crewmembers, the Starfleet personnel in full dress. On the other side were T'Pring's extended family, all of them resplendent in robes, jewels and headdresses that showed off their wealth.

At the far side of the room was a low dais of red granite, symbolic of Vulcan soil, upon which stood Sarsan, the priest from the Temple on Mt. Seleya who would perform the final Bonding. On either side of him were silver-clad acolytes holding bell-banners, and a small hanging hexagonal gong.

Spock took a moment to settle himself and for those in attendance to become quiet, then stepped up onto the dais, took the jade mallet that hung from the frame, and struck the gong softly. The deep, masculine tone filled the room and the acolytes shook the light feminine bells in response. With that, the Vulcans in T'Pring's party stepped aside and the bride's parents escorted their daughter to the dais, where she glided up to face her tall husband-to-be.

T'Pring was even more beautiful than she had been before, dressed in a floor-length robe of silver-blue material that floated about her slender body, a matching veil shimmering from her elaborate, raven-black hair. But this time, the expression on her face was serene and without the haughty pride that had marked her before. Her perfect lips lifted in a small smile and her dark eyes locked onto Spock's, her gaze only for him.

The bell banners were shaken once more and both Spock and T'Pring sank to their knees before the priest, lifting their right hands with index and third fingers raised, then touched them together in a light embrace. Sarsan rested a hand on each head, establishing a meld and closing his eyes as he examined the preliminary Bond set so long ago. It was strong and ready to be fused into one of full Joining.

Opening his eyes, the old priest addressed the attendees with the ancient ritual words. "What thee are about to see comes down from the time of the beginning, without change. This is the Vulcan heart. This is the Vulcan soul. This is our way." His stern gaze swept the crowd. "Is there any here that would declare challenge against this Mating?"

For a second his eyes came to rest on a blue-eyed woman in the crowd and she, startled, stared back. Then Christine Chapel lifted her chin and her face became unemotional, firm, as if she refused to allow herself to acknowledge what the Vulcan priest was insinuating. No, there would be no challenge. Whatever she had felt for Spock, this was his choice and she would make no protest.

Sarsan acknowledged her decision with a tiny, approving nod and turned back to the wedding couple. "There is no challenge, there is no reason given that this Mating should not proceed. _Kah-if-farr_!"

The bell banner chimed again and this time Spock and T'Pring lifted their hands to one another's temples, settling into meld position. Sarsan's hands remained on their heads, joining the meld and all was silence for several moments. Minds and thoughts were being permanently joined into one being, a lifetime Bond was being formed which only death would completely sever. At one point, Spock drew in a quivering breath, but his eyes remained closed and his fingers firm on T'Pring's face.

In the crowd, Christine pressed her lips together and her eyes shown with moisture. Standing beside her, Uhura reached out and silently took her friend's hand, steadying her with encouragement. Chapel glanced at her, a little smile on her lips, one that did not reach her eyes. When she returned her gaze to the ceremony, she found McCoy looking at her in concern, but no one moved.

Then Sarsan removed his hands from the couple's heads and Spock and T'Pring dropped their fingers from one another's faces. Spock rose to his feet and reached out to take T'Pring's hands in his own, lifting her up to stand before him. Their eyes remained locked on the other's for a long moment, then they joined fingers once again and turned to face the crowd. Sarsan lifted his hands in _ta'al_ and pronounced, "It is done. Spock and T'Pring are one mind and one soul. May they live in peace and prosperity and their children be many."

The Vulcans present repeated the blessing, some in English but most in the old Vulcan language. The human guests burst into spontaneous applause and voiced congratulations, rushing forward to shake Spock's hand or slap him on the back. It was a demonstration of affection and emotion that shocked many of the non-humans, who drew together and away from the unruly group. Even T'Pring looked stunned and stepped behind her husband. It was not what she had expected from Spock's crewmates.

After a moment, though, Spock lifted his hands for quiet. "My friends, I thank you for your good wishes, but please have consideration for my wife and my family. Your enthusiasm is overwhelming them. Refreshments have been provided for you. Please partake and enjoy."

McCoy grabbed Scotty's arm and steered him toward the bar area. "Today's the day I introduce you to good ol' Jack Daniels No. 7. I'll wean you off that swill you usually drink."

"I'd hardly call Glenlivet 'swill'," Scott replied, seemingly offended. "Jus' th' opposite in fact! It's me that'll be doin' the weanin'."

"Now, now, gentlemen," Kirk interrupted them. "Don't get into a drinking contest! You're both back on duty not long after the festivities are concluded! But I'll join you, Bones, in a JD and Coke."

They all moved off with the rest of the human guests. The Vulcans took the opportunity to gather around the newlyweds and speak quietly in their native tongue. Sarek and Amanda were among them, maintaining proper protocol, although Amanda found her eyes moist. "I'm so happy, Spock," she whispered to her son. "I thought this day would never come."

"That is not logical, Mother," he smiled back. "Eventually I would marry. You know that."

"I just didn't know if I would live to see it," the elderly human woman replied. "Now, give me some grandchildren!"

"Mother! We do not speak of that."

"I do." Her blue eyes were twinkling.

But Sarek intervened. "It is time we left, my wife. My congratulations to you, my son, and my new daughter. Peace and long life to both of you."

"And to you, my second father," T'Pring murmured. She exchanged words with her own parents and, as a group, all of the Vulcans moved towards the door.

Helping himself to a small sweet cake, McCoy asked his companions, "Is the party breaking up already? Why are they all leaving?"

"Vulcan's don't party," Kirk answered, biting into his own cake. "Spock told me that the reception was mainly for the crew. But they won't want us here for long." He tilted his head toward the curtains cloistering off the bed chamber.

McCoy choked on a little laugh. "Jim, you've got a dirty mind! I'd be ashamed, as my old Grandma used to say." He beckoned to Scotty and caught up a black labeled bottle on the table. "Come on. Let's get out of these high collared duds and have a real drink!"

"Aye, I'm for that!" The two officers left for their own brief celebration, both of them mindful of the time they had to be on duty.

"I'm going to take some wedding cake up to the bridge crew," Uhura commented, gathering up several sweets and covering them with a napkin. "They deserve it for watching the store while we were here." Christine left with her, eyes downcast, and without speaking. It seemed that she was in a hurry to get away from the reception.

Glancing around, Kirk discovered that the room was clearing out fast. The Vulcan priest and his attendants had disappeared, too, taking the ceremonial items with them, although the granite dais remained, to be removed later. He also couldn't help but notice that Spock had turned his full attention on his bride, stroking her face with his fingers, as she replied with hers. Suddenly the room seemed hotter than before and Kirk could almost feel the sexual flames beginning to fill the room.

"Captain?" Spock said in a deep, breathless voice, not taking his eyes from his intent gaze into T'Pring's. "Leave. _Now_."

Kirk realized he was the last person there and he hurriedly slipped out the doorway. As it slid shut behind him, he caught a glimpse of Spock crushing his wife hard against him and bringing his lips down onto hers.

* * *

The _Enterprise_ remained in orbit around Vulcan for five days, attending to ship's business and taking advantage of the planetside recreation that the red world offered. But in the back of everyone's mind was what was actually going on in the sealed VIP quarters on Deck 7. Twice a day, in morning and early evening, a pair of young Vulcan _reldai_ , trainees of the Seleyan temple, beamed aboard bearing trays of delicacies and fresh linens, fragrant oils and exotic incense. Security escorted them to the room that was off-limits to anyone else and let them in. They did not stay long, leaving soon after arrival with empty trays, uneaten foods, and bins of rumpled bed clothes. They did not speak and went about their duties with Vulcan stoicism.

On the sixth day, those on the morning shift arrived with two others and this time they stayed for nearly three hours. When the group finally emerged, bearing more than usual of their daily burden, they were followed by Spock and T'Pring, serene, bathed, and dressed in finely-tailored robes. The Mating had ended and both had resumed the collected and unemotional demeanor that characterized their species.

Their fingers crossed with the other, Spock escorted his new wife to the transporter room, where they beamed down to the city of ShiKahr. There was a dignity about the First Officer that exceeded what the crew found usual in him and it caused quick whispers of speculation to run along the corridors. There was an old rumor that Spock was, in fact, a prince of his family line and now they believed it.

The next day, Spock beamed back aboard alone, repaired to his assigned cabin, and appeared on the bridge in duty uniform. Nothing seemed to have changed in his life and he assumed his station as if the past week had not happened.

Captain Kirk played along with the charade, relaxed in the command chair and signing a report padd brought to him by a yeoman. "Welcome back, Mr. Spock," he said casually. "All settled in?"

"Yes, sir," Spock responded. "I will have the science report ready for you shortly."

"No need to hurry. Ensign Webber has done a good job keeping the station reports up to date." He turned his attention to the navigator. "Set in a course for Earth, lieutenant. Warp two. We're reporting back to headquarters for new orders." The Captain rose and headed for the turbolift. "Let's get a cup of coffee, Spock, and I'll bring you up to date on things."

"Aye, sir." The Vulcan rose from the science station and followed his commander into the lift.

As they rode down a level to the main conference room, Kirk inquired, "Everything okay at home? Get the little woman settled in?"

Spock looked at him with a lifted eyebrow. "She is not 'little', although I grant that she does have a petite stature. And she is quite capable of seeing to her own welfare. She has, after all, been satisfactorily managing her own affairs for a number of years."

"I didn't mean anything, Spock. You know that. I was just making small talk." Kirk shut up, wondering at his First Officer's slightly grumpy attitude. Likely it was coming back to work after a week's honeymoon.

Reaching Deck 2, the two officers stepped out of the turbolift and walked across the corridor to the Captain's Ready Room. Spock had admittedly expected the invitation to "coffee" to take place in the Captain's Mess, but he did not question their destination. Kirk had not had an actual ready room in the old version of the _Enterprise_ and many meetings took place in his quarters. Thus, he was very pleased with the new layout of his ship.

The Vulcan was surprised to find others already there, sitting around the big conference table and chatting – Dr. McCoy, Dr. Chapel, Mr. Scott, other department heads. So, this was to be an actual meeting and not just a quasi-social gathering. He straightened himself with a quiet sigh and went to the replicator to get himself a cup of tea as Kirk retrieved a large cup of coffee.

As the Captain sank into his comfortable chair at the head of the table, he asked, "Mr. Spock? Would you do the honors?"

"Of course, Captain." Spock settled himself behind the desktop computer console and flipped it into recording mode.

Kirk opened the meeting. "Nice to see everybody," he said in a quiet voice, a slight smile to his tone. "First of all, I'd like to welcome Commander Spock back and offer congratulations on his recent marriage." Everyone around the table applauded politely for a moment.

"Thank you, everyone," Spock acknowledged.

"I just wanted to bring you all up to date on things," Kirk continued. "We've been called back to Starfleet Headquarters for new orders. As you all know, we had nearly finished our mission when circumstances diverted us back to Vulcan, and HQ has decided to take our closeness to Earth to do some more revamping of the ship and a few personnel changes. Dr. Chapel has requested a transfer back to Starfleet Medical to continue her career in bioresearch and it has been granted. She'll be teaching at the Academy. Congrats to you, Christine." Kirk led the applause this time.

Spock turned a searching glance on the doctor and found that she was steadfastly avoiding his gaze, although she was engaging with the others around the table. For some reason, this irritated him and he resolved to speak to her once the meeting broke up.

The meeting dragged on for a couple of hours, each department head giving a casual report on personnel changes for lower level crew, upcoming promotions, and any other news that might be of interest. Spock had nothing to say, having just reported back on duty, and felt more and more awkward as time passed. Finally, though, Kirk called a halt.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think we've covered just about everything. I know this was last minute and deliberately informal. I thank you for your time. Unless anyone has anything else to contribute, you're dismissed."

Murmurs of conversation broke out as all around the table arose and headed back to their jobs. As he passed Spock, finishing up the computer duties, Kirk said, "I'm going to have some lunch. Join me if you like."

"Thank you, Captain. I have work to take care of on the personnel rosters and I will report back to the bridge when finished, if you need me there."

"No, just take it easy. We've got a couple of days before we get back to Earth and nothing in particular on tap." Kirk strolled out the door as the room emptied.

McCoy had already left and Chapel was getting ready to do so. As she turned to exit the conference room, the First Officer spoke up. "Dr. Chapel, may I have a word with you before you go, please?"

"Of course, sir." She turned to face him, badly pretending to be at ease when she was anything but, her face a mask of neutrality.

Spock tilted his head slightly, appraising her. "You did not come to speak to me at the wedding."

Her brows tightened a bit. "I apologize but I felt that it was awkward talking to you with your wife standing right there."

"But why? There was nothing improper about it. There was nothing to be ashamed of."

"I didn't say I was ashamed," Christine responded. "I said it was awkward. Surely she … uh … Mrs. … dammit! What should I call her?"

"Her name is T'Pring. The Vulcan honorific would be meaningless to you. Simply refer to her by her name."

"You are being deliberately obtuse," Christine accused.

"I do not mean to be," he answered smoothly, but she had the feeling that he was deliberately provoking her.

"Is there some business you require of me, Mr. Spock? I have work to do." She leveled her gaze at him, her eyes hard as sky-blue marbles.

"Why are you leaving the ship?"

"That's my business."

"And mine. I must deal with your personnel reports."

"The Captain has approved my transfer. More important, so has Starfleet Medical. Thus, none of your business." She was standing her ground.

Spock yielded and dropped his gaze for a second, then looked back at her, his mahogany eyes softened. "Are you leaving because of me?"

"No, I'm not. I'm leaving because I had finally reached a career pinnacle that I had wanted – being CMO on a major ship – and I was summarily demoted at the whim of James Kirk so his friend could take over my post."

"The V'Ger crisis--" Spock interrupted but she cut him off.

"Was a valid enough reason for him to get away with it," Christine snapped. "But it's two years later and I'm still a glorified head nurse. I've been waiting for a position in Medical to come open and it finally has. Everything else is pure coincidence."

He looked thoughtful and gave a short nod. "I had thought that my marriage--"

"Spock, I accepted a long time ago that we weren’t going to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after," Chapel stated. "I'd make you a lousy wife and you'd make me a lousy husband. You belong with T'Pring. She understands you in a way I never would. Moreover, if we'd hooked up, one of us would eventually have to leave the ship. You've been in the military practically your entire life. What happens when one of us is transferred? Or worse, wounded or killed on duty? No, I wish you all the best and I have only warm memories of our friendship and working relationship, but the time has come to go our separate ways. It's the logical thing to do."

His brows flicked up abruptly. That was the last thing he thought she'd say. "Very well, then…" But there was the faintest hint of disappointment in his voice. "I will accept your reasons and express my best wishes for your success.'

"Thank you, Mr. Spock." The tenseness in her shoulders had eased. "Now, I really do have work to do." With that, she slipped out the door and left him standing alone in the conference room. Somewhere in the depths of his marital Bond, he thought he detected an amused flicker.

* * *

"Will you come?" Spock asked, a note of hopefulness in his voice.

"No, I will not," replied T'Pring, her face on the comm screen dispassionate, serene and with perfect Vulcan calm.

"And why not?" He hadn't really expected her to, but he was disappointed all the same.

"Because I do not wish to come," she answered as if that were enough.

"This is very important to me. I am being promoted to captain and I will finally have my own ship."

"You will have the _Enterprise_ but only as a training ship. That does not necessarily seem to be a step up."

Now she was being insulting and he felt a twinge of anger. "T'Pring, this will be a major ceremony. The _Enterprise_ is being decommissioned from active duty because the new ship of the line, _Enterprise_ -B, is being finished at the Utopia Planitia shipyards. It will be ready to launch soon and I hope to be aboard her as the commanding officer. My promotion indicates that this is a viable career goal and my assignment teaching at Starfleet Academy will undoubtedly be temporary. I wish you to be there with me, as my wife."

"I have no way to travel to Earth," she said, her face hardening almost imperceptibly.

"My parents are coming. You can travel with them on the ambassadorial yacht."

"I have commitments that must be fulfilled during that time."

Spock could not stop himself from slapping his palm down on his desk in frustration. Then he instantly caught himself and responded, "T'Pring, you are prevaricating and that is extremely disingenuous of you. I wish to know the actual reason that you refuse my request."

Her eyes narrowed a bit and she dropped her pretenses. "Because _he_ will be there."

"He?"

"Your commanding officer. Kirk."

"Yes, of course, he will be there. He is being promoted to admiral and put in charge of cadet training at the Academy. I will still be working with him and under his command. The only difference is that we will be on Earth instead of a ship."

"And how do you suppose I will feel seeing him there? I, who tried to have him killed at your hands?"

That shocked him and it took him a moment to answer. "I had not considered that possibility. Uncomfortable, I would suppose."

"Yes. I felt it radiating from him during our Joining. He hates me, Spock, as you well know."

"I do not believe he _hates_ you, T'Pring. But, no, he does not think well of you. I will admit that. Nevertheless, you should be able to put that aside and attend the ceremony. It is your duty as my wife."

"Is it, husband?" That wasn't a question but a challenge. "Yet you would dishonor me by displaying me in that setting. And, of course, _she_ will be there as well?"

"By _she_ mean…" He was tired of her games.

"Your blonde nurse. Although I gather she is no longer blonde nor a nurse."

"If you mean Dr. Chapel, say her name."

"I decline. It did not escape my notice that she was one of the few to snub us at our Joining. Why did she not congratulate you?"

"Perhaps she feels the same about you that you do about her." He was beginning to breathe a bit heavier. This had hit a nerve. "In point of fact, I spoke to her regarding this and she admitted to feeling awkward in your presence."

"Well, then, we are all agreed." T'Pring sat back and looked like a cat with cream on her whiskers.

"We are _not_ agreed," he argued, feeling obtuse now. "She is a fine officer and an even finer doctor. We are colleagues. Nothing more."

"Spock, we are Joined! I was in your mind! I saw her there and all that you have been through with her!"

"As I have been in your mind, wife," he retorted. "Tell me … who is Shren?"

"Shren?"

"You know to whom I refer." His brows had lowered dangerously.

T'Pring stared at him for a moment, clearly collecting her thoughts. "Dr. Shren is the Director of the Council for Public Arts. I have known him for years. He is a colleague of _mine_."

"Ah, a colleague. I see. We both have a number of 'colleagues'."

"Spock! Are you jealous? You have been in the company of Humans much too long! I find this hard to fathom!"

"I am not jealous. You know very well that as a Vulcan I do not experience that emotion."

She almost laughed. "I'm not so sure. You definitely seem to be showing marked signs of it."

He had no answer for her and was feeling decidedly unsettled. "This conversation has no purpose," he finally responded. "I take it then that your answer to my request is in the negative."

"Exactly," she said, still with that feline expression on her face. "Now, I must go. I have business this morning and must be on my way. Goodbye, husband." She reached down to something out of sight and the screen went black.

Spock sat back in his desk chair and rubbed his hands over his face. She was beginning her day and he was getting ready for bed. He wanted to be on the same schedule as she but could not see a way if they were on different planets. He had not thought to discuss this conundrum prior to their marriage.

Nevertheless, he must carry on and got up to put his on meditation robe over his black undershirt and briefs. Lighting the incense and sinking down on the cushion before the ancestor fetish, he steepled his fingers and tried to still his mind. It took him some time before he achieved balance and serenity in his soul.

* * *

The huge auditorium at Starfleet Academy was a sea of red. Shortly before the _Enterprise_ had slid smoothly into her berth at Spacedock, Starfleet Command had issued orders for a complete changeover in uniforms and the ship's crew were issued new clothing upon their arrival, ditching the unpopular gray and beige uniforms.

"Thank God," McCoy had commented as he collected his new duty uniform. "I always felt like I was going to a slumber party in my pj's. I finally feel like I'm in the military again!"

Now at the promotion ceremony, all attending were clad in the regalia of red jackets and black pants and boots, different colored turtleneck undershirts and sleeve bands denoting the various departments.

The ceremony had been long, with the list of promotions from the _Enterprise_ at the end of the program. Finally it was Spock's turn and he stood at attention as Jim Kirk removed the commander's badge from his lapel strap and fastened on his captain's insignia. In the process, Kirk murmured, "T'Pring's not here?"

"She had … commitments," Spock murmured back, unmoving otherwise, eyes forward.

Nothing else was said until Kirk stepped back and said in a normal voice, "Captain Spock, congratulations, sir."

"Thank you, Captain Kirk," the Vulcan replied and returned to his seat amidst applause from the audience and his cohorts.

Then it was Kirk's turn, the biggest promotion of the ceremony. He stood at parade rest as Admiral Harry Morrow stepped up to the podium. "The man I'm about to promote has the distinction of being the youngest officer ever to be made captain and given command of his own ship. He has led his crew through battles, diplomatic crises, first contacts, exploration, and – as the motto of Starfleet states – boldly gone where no one has gone before. He has been to the edge of the galaxy and beyond, he has faced Romulans, Klingons, Tholians, and more new species than we can possibly name here … and he has always brought his ship and crew home. Now, ladies and gentlemen of the Academy, he will turn his formidable talents, as Director of Operations, to training you to follow in his footsteps. As the Federation expands and as Starfleet goes into the frontier of that expansion, we will need more than ever the talents of people like you doing the job that James T. Kirk pioneered. Captain Kirk, if you please…"

Kirk moved forward and stood at attention. Morrow unclasped the captain's insignia from Kirk's white lapel and then fastened on the stylized starburst of rear admiral. Normally the next promotion up should have been commodore, but Kirk had been jumped a rank in order to put him on the same level as the other officers of Starfleet Academy operations. Morrow had pushed for it and Command had agreed that Kirk had earned it.

Now, Morrow stepped back and offered his hand. "Admiral Kirk, my congratulations, sir!"

Kirk took it and replied, "Thank you, Admiral."

Morrow took his seat and the newly minted rear admiral moved to the podium amidst applause. The climax of the ceremony was at hand – the handover of command of the _Enterprise_.

Spock stood and returned to attention at Kirk's side, and this time Commander Scott as second officer of the starship stood and commanded, "Attention to Orders!"

There was an immediate muffled noise throughout the auditorium as hundreds of cadets and crew snapped to alert.

Kirk looked down at the padd before him and read, "To Admiral James T. Kirk, Commanding Officer, U.S.S. _Enterprise_ , NCC-1701-A, Stardate 8015.9. You are hereby requested and required to relinquish command of your vessel to Captain Spock cha'Sarek, First Officer, U.S.S. _Enterprise_ , NCC-1701-A, as of this date. Signed, Admiral Heihachiro Nogura."

Kirk looked up and said, "Computer, transfer all command codes of U.S.S. _Enterprise_ , NCC-1701-A to Captain Spock cha'Sarek. Voice authorization: Kirk Alpha 43087."

The computer replied, "Transfer complete. U.S.S. _Enterprise_ , NCC-1701-A now under command of Captain Spock cha'Sarek."

Spock faced his long time commanding officer and stated formally, "I relieve you, sir."

Kirk answered, just as formally, "I stand relieved."

Both men briskly saluted one another, an ancient naval ritual that was mostly foregone except for such traditional and formal ceremonies as this, and as they did so and turned to face forward, the audience of cadets, crew and officers burst into spontaneous, thunderous applause. This went on until Spock moved to the podium once more and waited for quiet, which quickly returned as Scott snapped, "Attention!"

Spock surveyed the tiers of cadets, observing that they consisted of all human skin colors and non-Terran races that had not been there when he had attended. One in particular he noted was a tall Vulcan girl, her dark brown hair swept up in regulation design, her eyes locked on him. Ambassador Sarek had sponsored her, something completely out of the ordinary for the venerable Vulcan, considering his feelings about his son's career path, but Sarek had mellowed somewhat over the years and he could not logically deny that Spock had made the right choice. Today's ceremony reflected that clearly. Now this girl, Saavik, had been nominally put under Spock's training.

Aware that his audience was waiting, Spock addressed them. "Cadets, when I stood in your shoes at the beginning of my Starfleet career, the company of this Academy was not so large nor so varied. I now return to this venerable institution to teach you the skills of survival in the exploration of space in the hope that most of you will return wiser and unscathed. Space is not for the faint of heart. It is for the brave and the resourceful and the prepared. I am here to prepare you for that challenge. Once the _Enterprise_ has been converted as a training vehicle, you will have the opportunity to experience the thrill, the dangers and the responsibilities of space exploration first hand. Until that time … enjoy your holiday and I shall see you at the resumption of classes this autumn."

Scott glanced at him then declared, "Company dismissed!"

The entire atmosphere changed abruptly to relief, merriment, and camaraderie as the cadets filed out of the auditorium to begin the summer break. Among the officers and crew of the _Enterprise_ , there was a collective sigh of relief and groups came together to chat, say goodbyes, make plans, and move on to new assignments.

Sarek and Amanda made their way down to the front area to meet with their son. Amanda was the first to break protocol and grasp his hand in hers. " _Captain_ Spock," she smiled, her eyes moist. "I am _so_ proud of you!!"

"It was a logical expectation, Mother," he answered mildly, a smile of his own playing at his lips. "There is no need for a display of emotion."

"Well, I _am_ proud of you! I just want to cry for joy!!"

"Please don't," he begged. "I am uncomfortable enough."

She just squeezed his hand harder and was delighted when he squeezed back. But then he pulled his fingers from her grasp and put both hands behind his back, facing his father. "I am quite pleased that you were both able to make the journey here," Spock said.

"And where is your wife?" Sarek asked pointedly. "Did you not request her to be present?"

"I did. However, she was unable to leave Vulcan."

Amanda narrowed her blue eyes. "I don't believe that for a moment. She--"

"Mother." "Amanda." Both men spoke at the same moment and in the same warning tone. Sarek continued in a neutral voice, "We should not discuss that which is private in public. Come, my wife, I believe that we should return to our accommodations and allow our son to spend time with his comrades, as he undoubtedly wishes to do."

"Alright," Amanda agreed with grudging grace. "You come to see us before we go back home!"

"I will, Mother," Spock replied.

As his parents made their way toward the exit, Spock rejoined Kirk and McCoy with the rest of the senior officers standing nearby. The doctor was the first to speak, "I don't know about you, Spock, but my stomach thinks my throat is cut. I'd like to go get something to eat. How about it? Where should we go? All of us, I mean." He turned to include the rest in his gaze.

"Top of the Mark," said Sulu.

"Fisherman's Wharf," suggested Uhura.

"Somewhere in Chinatown," spoke up Christine Chapel.

There were other recommendations ranging from small intimate hole-in-the-wall bars near the Academy to high dollar tourist locations. In the end, they chose Fisherman's Wharf at a restaurant that also served vegan dishes that would satisfy Spock's palate, but had a wide variety of seafood and steaks. Everyone got what they wanted and they feasted far into the night, drinking wine and sharing toasts, discussing plans for the future, laughing, crying, and swapping stories of their time together.

When it became obvious that the party was over, they all became quiet and subdued. For some of them, new assignments were drawing them back out into space. Others were going on extended leave to various parts of the planet. Uhura was leaving the next day for the East African Republic to see her family. McCoy was going home to visit his daughter and grandchildren in Georgia. Scotty was heading to Mars to work as Chief Engineer on the new _Enterprise_ -B. Sulu and Chekov were off to new ship assignments, Sulu on the new _Excelsior_ and Chekov to the _Reliant_. Christine planned on staying in San Francisco and settling into her new position at Starfleet Medical.

Kirk was going deep sea fishing in the South Pacific with Admiral Harry Morrow, both to relax and to discuss plans for the Academy. As they left the restaurant and went their separate ways, Kirk walked with Spock toward the transport station. "Where're you headed, Spock?" he asked with the slightest slur in his words.

"I assume you mean not just my destination for tonight," the Vulcan replied. "I have decided to take my leave and go back to Vulcan with my parents. It has been over two months since I have seen my wife and I have neglected her too long. I will be back long before the fall semester begins.'

Kirk laughed a little too loudly. "Refresh the little woman, hmm? Good for you!"

Spock glanced at him and determined that Kirk had enjoyed his post-prandial brandy a bit too much. "Perhaps I should see you to your quarters, Jim. The fog is rolling in and it is easy to become disoriented in such situations."

"Good. Good idea." Kirk weaved ever so slightly and Spock put a hand on his shoulder, guiding him into the transport shuttle. It would not do for Starfleet's newest rear admiral to be found sleeping it off in the gutter.

* * *

Spock stopped in the doorway to the patio of his home in ShiKahr and took in the scene before him. T'Pring was lying on her stomach on a padded table, naked, as she was massaged by a handsome male Vulcan. Her eyes were closed in bliss as the young man worked his fingers into the muscles of her back.

Feeling fury and jealousy that another male was touching his wife, Spock held his temper in check and asked coldly, "Am I coming at an inconvenient time?"

T'Pring opened her eyes, but did not move otherwise. She let her gaze slide over his uniform then said with amusement, "You look better in blue."

"Step away!" he ordered the young man in a tone that did not brook argument, and was instantly obeyed.

T'Pring pulled a sheet around herself and sat up, now looking annoyed. "This is Sanon, my masseuse. If you're thinking what I believe you are thinking, then stop now. Sanon is completely professional and besides is _sa-ka-ashausu_. He has no interest in me as a woman, just a client. His husband also works for me as a gardener."

Spock was still glaring at the other man who was wiping the massage oil from his hands with a clean cloth. "Captain Spock," Sanon said mildly. "I greet you and am at your service."

Beginning to calm down and bring his anger into equilibrium, Spock nodded in return but did not answer the pleasantries.

"Lady T'Pring, with your permission, I will take my leave of you now. I will be available in ten days' time for our next appointment," Sanon said.

"Thank you," she answered then glanced at her husband. "Perhaps next time we will not be interrupted."

After the masseuse had left them, T'Pring slid off the table to her feet and dropped her covering, standing provocatively nude for a moment before donning the silk robe that lay across a nearby chair. Then she turned to Spock and remarked, "You should have let me know you were coming home. I would have made arrangements to receive you properly."

"How long has this been going on?" he demanded.

"What? Receiving a massage from the best masseuse in ShiKahr? Perhaps you would like to know my schedule of appointments for hair dressing and nail care." She started toward the house but Spock reached out and seized her arm, spinning her back to face him.

"I am not amused, T'Pring! I demand that you behave as a wife of your station is expected! You will not dishonor me!"

Unimpressed, she actually gave a humorless laugh. "I was under the impression that I am behaving in just that way. Do you think other women of my caste lead the lives of penitents? I in no way dishonor you. Just the opposite. It is you who dishonor me by deserting me for months."

"You know perfectly well that my profession demands that I serve where I am stationed," Spock answered. "We had this discussion before our marriage."

"Indeed," she responded haughtily. "And what are you doing home now, so soon after your big promotion?"

"I am on leave," he replied. "I desired to see you but it appears you do not reciprocate that feeling."

She gazed up at him, appraising him as he loomed over her. "That is not the case, my husband." Her demeanor began to change, her beautiful eyes half-lidded. "I have desired to see you, as well. I have something to tell you but first I detect there are physical matters to be fulfilled." She held out her hand, fingers extended, and stroked them softly down his cheek. A buried thrill of excitement answered her.

"Ah, as I suspected, husband," she purred and let her robe slip off her shoulders. "Come, we will go to my chambers where you may demonstrate your anger with me." The robe slid down further as she pulled away from him and moved into the cool darkness of the residence.

Pausing for a moment, Spock followed, his ire rapidly becoming something else entirely as he began to unfasten the clasps of his uniform tunic.

* * *

Sated at last, Spock rolled onto his back and gulped in air to still his rapid breathing and pounding heart. Beside him, T'Pring sighed heavily and murmured, "You are very good. I had forgotten how much."

"As opposed to whom?" he answered, suddenly feeling irritated again. He thought he had worked out his agitation in coitus, but apparently not.

"As opposed to no one," she responded, her good mood tempered as well.

No more was said for a few minutes, then without looking at her, he asked, "And what is this thing that you need to tell me?"

She reached for his large hand and placed it on the softness of her abdomen. "Our Mating was successful, husband. I carry your child."

Abruptly, Spock snatched his hand away from her and got up from the bed, grabbing his robe from a chair and putting it on before turning back to her. "Do you think me a fool?"

T'Pring had not expected this reaction and sat up in bed. "What? You don't believe I am pregnant?"

"I believe that. I just have extreme doubts that it is mine," he snapped.

Frowning, T'Pring rose as well and slipped into her robe, then turned to face him with the bed between them. "I have not been unfaithful to you, Spock," she stated with crossed arms. "This child is the product of your last _pon farr_ at the time of our Joining. You are welcome to have DNA scans done if you would like to prove this, or simply meld with me and look into my mind to see for yourself that I have been completely celibate between that time and just now."

In answer, he advanced on her, his face stony, and lifted his right hand to her face, quickly finding her psi points. Closing her eyes, she opened her mind to him and rapidly they were one.

He saw her life on Vulcan, her work with charitable and artistic foundations, her friends and acquaintances, her social life. Probing deeper, he saw the men in her life … her father and brother, Dr. Shren, the elderly Vulcan with whom she worked, Sanon, her masseuse, and the fact that he was indeed homosexual and that, although Spock had found her in the nude with him, there had never been anything but professional touch. And, he saw the memory of Stonn and the life they had had together and the fact that she had loved her late husband.

But moreover Spock found himself in T'Pring's thoughts. He saw her contentment at their reconnection, at their Joining and Mating. He felt her joy as her pregnancy was confirmed, for she had never been able to conceive with Stonn and had longed for a child. And Spock felt the loneliness as he had left her to return to duty, the lengthy days that she filled with activities, her longing to be with him, but the fear and the resentment she felt at the thought of living on Earth. She could not even abide the thought of visiting there. It was almost a phobia with her, her fear was so strong.

// _Do you trust me now, husband?_ // T'Pring's voice asked in his mind. // _Will you allow me to find such trust in you?_ //

Spock relaxed his mental barriers and felt T'Pring's mind probe deeply into hers. He held back nothing from her. She saw his relationships, both working and personal, with the crew of the _Enterprise_. She did not understand the emotional Humans nor how Spock could be so inured to their chaotic way of life, yet he had chosen to live and work among them for decades. She saw the females in his life – Nyota Uhura and Christine Chapel most of all, but those with whom he had experienced brief flirtations and sexual encounters. The last didn't matter because there was no possibility of his meeting them again.

// _And these two, husband? Do you feel love for them?_ //

// _Nyota is a very good friend, wife. I revere her as I would a sister_.//

// _But the other? If it were not for I, you would Join with her, would you not?_ //

His mind instinctively attempted to retreat from her question, but she refused to allow him this defensive action. // _I was open with you. If we are to trust one another, you must answer truthfully_ ,// she demanded.

He could not refuse her. It was the price he had to pay. Slowly, he allowed T'Pring full access to his memories of Christine Chapel, of their growing affection in working together, of her coming to him before his first _pon farr_ and his temptation to take her then and there, of his consciousness being stored in her mind and the near-bonding they shared, of the time on Platonius when they were forced to cavort and then kiss, of her standing beside him literally and figuratively during the mock court martial that could have ended his life when the mad Janice Lester had taken over Kirk's body.

And of his hurt when she left the ship at the end of their mission, effectively ending a relationship that they had never consummated.

// _You still love her, don't you?_ // T'Pring's mind whispered.

// _As you still love Stonn_ ,// he responded with a note of sadness.

She did not answer but her first husband's image appeared in her mind. Then she replied with an answering tone to match his. // _We are what our memories have made us, Spock. They will always be there, but can we trust one another enough to make new ones? Can we build new memories together with our child to bond us into a family?_ //

He felt ashamed and pulled his fingers away from her face, closing the meld. She was looking up at him with her dark eyes moist. It was extremely rare that Vulcans shed tears, but T'Pring was close to doing so. Spock pulled her into his arms and held her as she buried her face into his chest.

"Forgive me," he whispered into her hair. "Forgive my jealousy and doubt and anger. It was unworthy of me as a Vulcan. I promise that I will not allow them to come between us again."

Lifting her face, she smiled at him and he stroked her dark hair. "So, tell me, wife, are we having a son or a daughter and what name shall we give it?"

* * *

Jim Kirk was waiting at the shuttle dock when Spock stepped from his transport in the huge Spacedock landing bay. "Admiral," the Vulcan greeted his commanding officer in a pleasant voice. "It is quite agreeable, but I wasn't expecting to see you."

"I know," Kirk replied. "I just happened to be on the station on business and I thought you might like to get a bite of lunch before we go back down to the Academy."

"Yes, I accept your offer. It has been some hours since I ate."

The two men started down the corridor, blending in with the dozens of other red clad Starfleet personnel. They chose a restaurant at random, one with sandwiches and salads at this time on the day shift, collected their food and drinks, then settled into a fairly secluded table where they could talk.

As Jim bit into his chicken salad sandwich, he asked, "How was the visit back home? All went well, I trust."

Spock poked at the small green salad he had chosen. "Nothing of significance. My parents send their greeting to you and hope you are settling well into your new position. I went to visit the Hall of Ancient Thought to make a reverence at the vault of T'Pau. I concluded some business matters that needed my personal attention. And T'Pring is pregnant."

Kirk choked on the bite of sandwich he was in the process of swallowing and couldn't speak for a moment. Then he stared at Spock and demanded, "What did you say??"

"That T'Pring is pregnant? I said other things but I assume that is the statement to which you refer." Spock took a forkful of greens and conveyed them to his mouth. His expression was completely bland as he chewed.

"Spock! That's wonderful! Congratulations!" Kirk was grinning widely. "I'm going to be an uncle!"

"No, Jim, you are not," the Vulcan responded calmly. "You are of no relation to either T'Pring or myself, therefore to presume blood relation is illogical."

"I know that," Jim answered, making a dismissive wave of his hand. "It's just a human—oh, never mind! Anyway, I'm thrilled for you! You're going to be a dad!"

Spock laid down his fork and steepled his fingers before him, resting his elbows on the table. The expression in his dark brown eyes changed and the seeming light-heartedness was gone. "No, Jim," he said. "I am not."

"But…but you said your wife is pregnant." Kirk swallowed and searched his friend's face for some explanation.

"I did and she is," Spock answered. "But the child is not mine."

Kirk's jaw dropped open. For a moment, he couldn't speak then stuttered, "But … how … I mean, how do you know? Did she tell you that?"

"Just the opposite. She did her best to convince me that she has been faithful and that the baby is the product of our mating after our marriage. I melded with her and she opened her mind to me with a carefully constructed scenario of the dutiful spouse awaiting her husband's return." Spock's brows lowered a bit. "She was very good. I could have easily believed her if it were not for our past relationship. I have not forgotten her betrayal at our initial Joining ceremony."

Kirk nodded. Neither had he and he had the _lirpa_ scar across his chest to remind him. "And you still agreed to marry her? I never completely understood why."

"I consented for the sake of both our families' honor and because I did not suspect that she had not completely reformed," Spock sighed. "As I said, she is very good and for the two years preceding our Joining, I made a real effort to convince myself that she had indeed changed. I believed that she had and the marriage of two high caste houses of Vulcan was advantageous to all. It was the logical thing to do." He dropped his gaze to his fingertips and did not speak for a few minutes.

Kirk took a sip of his coffee. It was cold but he didn’t seem to notice. Leaning forward, he lowered his voice to make sure they were not overheard. "But how do you know the child isn't yours, Spock? How can you be sure?"

Spock drew a deep breath and brought his eyes back up to meet Kirk's. "Two reasons. For one thing, I believe the pregnancy is advanced just enough beyond the time of our joining that she was already pregnant, just pregnant, at our marriage. I do not know if even she knew then, but if she did, then it was imperative that she could say that the conception took place during my _pon farr_. I believe this to be the case."

"But couldn't you be the father then?" Kirk questioned.

Spock shook his head. "No. Because there is one thing of which I am certain … and that she does not know. I never told her or anyone else, not even you, Jim. Dr. McCoy knows, as my physician, but my medical records are sealed and confidential. It is the one thing that T'Pring never took into account."

Kirk peered back at him, now plainly puzzled.

Spock gave a soft, humorless little laugh. "I am a hybrid, Jim," he said. "A mule. I am completely sterile."

 

THE END

 


End file.
